As students flock back to campus, awkward early adulthood love is in the air. We both know you’ll be spending your precious class time staring at the back of your new crush’s head, but it’s time to take it to the next level. Listen to the love expert (me) and follow these tips, and before you know it you and your crush will be falling in love and riding off into the sunset.
Stalk them on social media
Is there a better way to get to know someone than by memorizing the fake persona they cultivate online? If there is, I’ve yet to find it. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook are great tools to find out your crush’s bizarre political opinions, favorite memes, and embarrassing old photos. Once you come across their overly-edited selfies from 2009, they won’t seem as intimidating.
“Is sending a Farmville request considered flirting?”
Overanalyze everything they do
Remember, when it comes to love, there is no such thing as overthinking, and you need to make sure you pick up on your crush’s subtle clues. Did you accidentally bump into them on the way to class? They probably want to hold you in their arms. Did you both hold eye contact for more than 3 seconds? They were lost in your eyes and find you irresistible. Did they laugh at a joke you made in class? They are enamored by your sly wit.
Find out their favorite TV show and binge-watch the entire thing
To college students, what is currently popular on Netflix is immensely important, and if you have seen your honey’s favorite show, you’re in! If you’re too nervous to initiate talking to your crush, buy as much merchandise from the show they like and wear it around them constantly. They won’t be able to ignore your gorgeous Doctor Who earrings or Adventure Time backpack!
Imagine your entire future together
Remember kids, love-at-first-sight is absolutely real, and even if you’ve never talked, it’s time to get serious. Decide which penthouse you’ll be living in, if you are having kids or adopting dogs, and, most importantly, how much money you will have to make to feed your Chipotle habit. Your new life partner will appreciate your selfless and practical thinking. If you are feeling antsy, create Sims versions of you and your boo-thang to play out your lives in minutes!
Try not to actually do any of these things, even though we both know you probably will
At the end of the day, you know you’re awesome. You know you are a total babe. And you know that you have the perfect cheesy pickup line! Make them fall in love with you, not who you’re pretending to be. So go for it, tiger! Blow your crush away with your incredible flirting skills and get that first date. Worst case scenario, you’ll say something awkward and then have to sit next to them for an entire semester. But don’t worry, college is full of horribly awkward encounters. Embrace it.
“Woo Hoo! I’m tolerable!”